Courage__Gamtav

You tighten your grip on the small cardboard card in your lap, hurting your small hands a bit from the pressure, but you don’t really notice the pain from how nervous you feel. You wouldn’t really give a shit either.

You see the teacher walk around the classroom and go on and on about Valentine's day, about how wonderful and special it is. How fun a tradition it always has been to let her students make cards and hand them out to their Valentines, how girls are always allowed to bring cookies if they want to to give them to the boys.

You blush and sink in your chair a little, regretting making those slightly burned but tasty heart-shaped cookies the night before. Cookies that are now safely tucked inside your backpack and away from anyone’s view. You aren’t a girl. You are a boy, and a very young one too. You didn't bother taking the gender issue very seriously last night when you decided to bake the cookies though, getting help from your brother and letting your father be the judge of the taste. It’s only now that you realize that this wasn’t a very good idea.

You see the teacher approach you as she looks over her class distractedly, and you are quick to hide the card in your lap, under the small table. She sees your quick movement out of the corner of her eye and suspiciously crouches over you with a small, friendly smile on her face.

"Is something wrong with your card?" She asks with her soft, sweet voice and you shake your head furiously before she can even finish the sentence. She puts her hand in front of you. Raises her eyebrows and her smile becomes a sweet grin. You guess she wants you to hand the card over, but oh hell no. Over your dead body.

"No"- You squeak a little too loud, embarrassed, and put the card between your legs in case she wants to fight you for it. She seems to understand from the way she purses her lips and straights up, soon leaving you alone without another word. You sigh relieved. You feel the boy that shares a desk with you stare at your face for quite a while, probably thinking that you don’t notice his piercing stare. You ignore him, trying to pretend to be really interested in looking at your best friend a few desks ahead of you, who is too absorbed drawing something with a gray crayon almost angrily. You hear the boy beside you sigh and feel him look away, and you close your eyes nervously. You aren’t prepared for what you know is inevitably coming, but you have no choice. The clock is ticking.

"Alright girls, you can hand out your cookies if you want." Your teacher announces happily with a loud voice, and this gives you a few more minutes to prepare for your attack.

You notice your friend Terezi run around and hand out cookies to almost everyone, including you and the boy beside you with a huge grin on her face and a manic laughter that you know the teacher loves to hear. You glance at your backpack and feel your eyes itch a little, thinking that they will go to waste after all. You know better than to take them out and start giving them to your friends along with all the girls. You know the teacher would laugh at you and probably ask if you are a girl or something. You know that because that's exactly what she did last week when you came to school using your mother's lipstick. You hope everyone has forgotten about that by now. So you just hold onto your card, eyeing the brown cookie Terezi had left on your desk.

"Are you guys ready?" The teacher speaks up again, clapping her hands in excitement. Most of the little girls giggle in expectation, subconsciously glancing at their soon to be Valentines while they boys pretend to be highly interested in the carpet. Not you, though. You are too busy starting to regret your decision. You bet it wouldn't make a difference if you don’t hand out your card but then again… You really want to see that person's reaction.

"Okay class, hand out your cards!" Your teacher starts the innocent activity, watching with a giggle as the children start to run around with their cards in their hands, laughing and admiring the cool pictures the others have drawn on theirs. But you sit there. Sit there and watch the boy beside you stand up and walk towards the first desk on the row you are in where a blonde little girl sits at. She is laughing loudly and teasing one of her girlfriends before the boy interrupts her.

You see the boy give her the card he made, and your hands suddenly stop feeling like they are attached to you, and they loosen their tight grip over the card you have in them. This is silly. You aren't a girl. No matter how many times your mother and the teacher tell you so, you just don't seem to recognize the difference in time to avoid doing "girl things" over and over again, making a fool of yourself. You are stupid. You feel your small face get hot, but you try your hardest to not cry. That would probably add up to the list of girl things you shouldn't be doing.

You lift your eyes and notice everyone is done with their exchange. You notice that they are allowed to eat some cake the teacher brought in with her and drink some soda to just enjoy the rest of the class. But you continue to sit there.

"Gamzee?" You jump at the sudden voice right beside you. It’s the little boy that sits next to you who has apparently come back to check on you. You hadn't even seen him coming. He looks at you with a really worried expression on his small, chubby face. "Are you… uh… okay?" He says, sitting beside you closely, examining your face to see if you are crying. You aren’t yet, but the fact that he of all people is asking you how you are is about to make that happen soon enough.

"I…" You murmur, deciding to not look straight at his baby face. You look down at the card on your lap instead.

"You didn't give out your card." He observes. You shake your head no. "Do you… maybe want me to… do it for you?" He asks, probably thinking that you were too shy to do it yourself. Funny. You always thought he was the shy one. But when you look over at your classmate Vriska you can clearly see the pretty red card he had made for her in her pale hands.

"No…" Even he was able to do it. You can do it too, right? He frowns, not understanding what’s wrong with you. You gulp. Here it goes.

"W-will you be my Valentine?" You blurt out suddenly, your voice cracking a little bit, the pink and purple card in your fingers ready for him to take it already. He doesn't say anything, instead looking straight at you with surprise written all over his face. You start to feel your face getting hotter than ever before.

"M-me?" He says after a while, slowly taking the card from your hands. You know he won't make fun of you, because he's your friend and he's sweet, and nice and everything you ever wanted and will ever want, even if you are too small to know it yet. You still feel nervous butterflies inside your tummy though. "…Sure." He says with a toothy, embarrassed grin and a giggle. You feel your heart stop for a second and the butterflies go even crazier before disappearing, and you smile back happily. He then takes his time to read the card properly, checking it out and making little amused sounds at how great of an artist you are for manual projects. It even has his name written as neatly as you could manage in big brown letters: Tavros. One of the letters is actually backwards, but he couldn't care less.

"I also made you cookies!" You tell him excitedly, grabbing your backpack from the floor to open the zipper and take out your contraband. He seems excited to see that apparently they are all for him. You open up the little plastic box, letting him choose which ever heart-shaped delicacy he wanted before taking one yourself and closing the lid, placing the box on his lap.

"Thank you!" He exclaims, putting the whole thing in his mouth, and you are able to tell he actually likes your cookies way more than the ones Terezi had handed to you. You hear your best friend running towards your desk at full speed before you turn your face to look at him.

"Hey! I want cookies too!" Your friend Karkat yells next to your ear, shoving you to the side to stretch his arm towards Tavros. Your valentine holds on to the box strongly, frowning slightly.

"They're mine."

"Hand them over, you poop!" He eventually gives in and gives your best friend a couple of them, to then hide the container inside his backpack before another hungry friend harassed him for some. You have no idea if this means that he is your boyfriend now, and you truly don’t even know what that means anyways, but you feel glad that you made those things only for him and that he liked them. This is the best Valentine’s day you have ever had.